On Small and Important Matters

There are times when something strikes a horrible fear deep inside of me. I remember that time at the cider mill, just a month ago, when we arrived before Robert and Bek did, and we wondered where they were... And we heard sirens, and a fire truck raced by. That caused shivers to run down all of our spines, and dread was deep in the pit of my stomach. And life goes on, and the bad things don't happen, or, sometimes they do, and we forget, move on, block out the bad memories. It's a coping thing. We turn our heads when we pass by the crumpled bumper of that car, we stare straight ahead as we pass that place. But then the wounds heal with time. Funny, that. I was glad I never knew where exactly Granddaddy got hit and killed, but now that I know, five years later, it doesn't bother me. It's a bit melancholy, but I don't shiver and pass by with fear. Time seems to just relax me a bit. The other night my sisters and I watched a movie. A very good one, too. We sat there, afterwards, watching the credits, and a tear dripped from my eyelash. They died. Lots of people died. Yes, it was a war movie. And yes, in war people die. That night I thought of all my guy friends, and I thought towards them, oh please... Never, never never go to war... Please, never go to war, ever. It was only days before that movie that I overheard my coworkers talking about my one coworker's son, who is in the army. She was telling another coworker about how he had to take down a woman with a bomb, and his shot was too late by moments, so the bomb exploded right in her doorway, killing her and her children. My coworker was commenting on how cruel and foolish those people are, that they would sacrifice themselves and their children for the deaths of those in the American military, but I didn't listen anymore. I wanted to go to the back and cry. Why? Why? Why do they kill? Why do they hate? Oh God... God. Why does it happen? Then Saturday night I went and watched Doctor Who with Donny. I watched the episode where in the end, the doctor spun around in the Tardis laughing and shouting, "Just this once, everybody lives!!" And I was happy, too. I want everybody to live, too.