I am home.
What does that mean? What has changed? Hm. I do not know what it means, and I do not think much had changed... Only myself. I have grown older. Yet again I have grown older. It is a very weird feeling. Do you know that it has felt like a very long time that I've been away? Well it has felt so. I know I was home last only a week ago, and before that I was only gone for eighteen days... Yet in this past month I have grown much, and the time has flown. So much has been packed into this month... No, I should say in these past months, for it isn't only this past month that has felt so fast and full. Ever since that weekend in early April... Ever since then life has been full and fast. And now... No... Ah, I do not wish to think too much about it, but I will say what I am thinking quickly, then turn my mind to other things. And now, I am back at home, back and trapped... And the slowness is so different. I swallow back my distress daily, and its only the love of God and family that keeps me sane. Oh, things aren't very bad. And I'm still full of all the wonderful and beautiful memories, yet as I have tasted happy freedom, I yearn for more.
So on to other things...
My days have been full in a different way now. I feel like a full time mom again. I have mopped the floor, made breakfast, lunch and dinner, put the children to naps, pulled redbeets and picked basil and parsley, dried the herbs, pickled the redbeets, practised singing with the children, made cards, and wrote a few thank you notes... Yea... Full.
I don't know if many interesting things will come up, so I may not find too much to blog about. I do have some pictures I need to post,so I will try to do so soon.
<3
"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically" Anais Nin said in the fourth volume of her published diary. "We grow sometimes in one dimension and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
ReplyDeleteOdd, isn't it, how so much inner life can be compressed into so brief of a span of time?
Your days sound so industrious in all manner of wonderful household things; I almost envy you, and most certainly look forward to pictures, not to mention the narratives of future adventures pertaining to home life and the preservation of foods and such that I certainly hope you will take the time to mention here. They're interesting things to /me/... -.-
Ah, don't envy me. There is stuff to be envied that I have, perhaps... but there is that in everyone's life. Yes, I love this sort of responsibility and homey sort of living, but there are stresses which make it difficult, too.
DeleteDid you think for even a moment that I had forgotten that.
DeleteNope. :P
Delete