On Small and Important Matters

There are times when something strikes a horrible fear deep inside of me. I remember that time at the cider mill, just a month ago, when we arrived before Robert and Bek did, and we wondered where they were... And we heard sirens, and a fire truck raced by. That caused shivers to run down all of our spines, and dread was deep in the pit of my stomach. And life goes on, and the bad things don't happen, or, sometimes they do, and we forget, move on, block out the bad memories. It's a coping thing. We turn our heads when we pass by the crumpled bumper of that car, we stare straight ahead as we pass that place. But then the wounds heal with time. Funny, that. I was glad I never knew where exactly Granddaddy got hit and killed, but now that I know, five years later, it doesn't bother me. It's a bit melancholy, but I don't shiver and pass by with fear. Time seems to just relax me a bit. The other night my sisters and I watched a movie. A very good one, too. We sat there, afterwards, watching the credits, and a tear dripped from my eyelash. They died. Lots of people died. Yes, it was a war movie. And yes, in war people die. That night I thought of all my guy friends, and I thought towards them, oh please... Never, never never go to war... Please, never go to war, ever. It was only days before that movie that I overheard my coworkers talking about my one coworker's son, who is in the army. She was telling another coworker about how he had to take down a woman with a bomb, and his shot was too late by moments, so the bomb exploded right in her doorway, killing her and her children. My coworker was commenting on how cruel and foolish those people are, that they would sacrifice themselves and their children for the deaths of those in the American military, but I didn't listen anymore. I wanted to go to the back and cry. Why? Why? Why do they kill? Why do they hate? Oh God... God. Why does it happen? Then Saturday night I went and watched Doctor Who with Donny. I watched the episode where in the end, the doctor spun around in the Tardis laughing and shouting, "Just this once, everybody lives!!" And I was happy, too. I want everybody to live, too.

And My Car

So this is my car. Like I promised.

Grandmama's Farm

These days I can't talk, much. I don't have much to say about these pictures... Just for you to look at these pictures and smile.. because you ought to. There is much to smile about if you think positive. These are good memories, of course. Good ones to blot out the bad.

The beautiful, beautiful farm... From the hill, looking down to the shed and the house.

Work I

There are days when I see so much humor in life. This week I began a nanny job for a friend of my mom's. There are two children, a small girl, three years old, and a four month old boy. These children, as children go, are very sweet children. Funny, adorable, intelligent, darling. And it is humorous to me to be here watching them, and learning things. There is much I learn from my jobs. Just a few days ago, before I began this job, I was thinking that I think it will be very easy, and that the baby will be no problem for me. Well, I did not decide otherwise, but I did see how a young mother must feel with a toddler and an infant. I didn't realize how much a baby needs held! With a large family, with Ryrie when she was a baby, and the Gentleman Prince too, and even Princes... There were many delegations, and other arms to hold the baby with. But here - only person to hold baby, all day, is me. The baby doesn't lie down and gurgle happily for hours on end. No. He likes to be held. He likes to be bounced. He likes to be smiled at. Funny. I knew that, and certainly my siblings as babies were very demanding and fussy. But... I didn't realize that I'd be the only one to hold him! Basically, there are two times when I have some freedom. The morning nap, and the afternoon nap. So far, I can't tell yet, but it seems like each nap is about an hour or two. Yesterday he did sit happily in his carseat for a while with a toy. Today, right now, both children are still sleeping. I am glad for that, but I did come prepared today. I have a sling to hold the baby. My arms will be free. And I brought some ingredients for cookies that the Little Lady and I can make together. Generally she plays alone (unless she drags me into her games) but I want to start planning different special things to do each time I'm here. In case you were wondering, I am not complaining, I am not disappointed, I am not unhappy. I am on the other hand pleased. Pleased that I am getting to see things for how they are. And I have high hopes for the future. It will be frustrating at times, I'm sure, but I'm going to enjoy this. And Baby will grow. Sleep less, want to be held more, cry as he teethes, start playing on the floor more, start eating... Yep. And Little Lady will grow too. And me? Yeah, I'll definitely grow. Oh, and there were some extremely funny things that happened. Yesterday morning when I got here and the mom left to work, I changed Baby's diaper. I took off the diaper and turned for one moment to get a diaper wipe; when I turned back, I saw the end of a small stream shooting up in the air. Well, not quite up in the air. Maybe it would've been better if it had been up in the air. But all around his neck was wet, and his mouth had drops all around it. He had just about peed into his mouth. Not straight it, but it looked like to me he had gotten a taste. I was horrified and quickly cleaned him all over with a wipe. I was quite horrified. Little Lady says the most funny things. Just yesterday she was telling me all about how she and Robin Hood saved God from the flood. Or in her words, "The great water that flooded!" She was also telling me a story that half of the time didn't make sense, but she repeated over and over that God was being appropriate. It seemed she had heard that word somewhere and liked it. She also looked at me with big eyes and asked - not to me, but I believe she was talking to her invisible friend Larry the cucumber - "What would God do if Moses and I ran away?!" Then she told me with great assurance, "Naughty queens are perfect for ideas!" She also warned me about a dragon hiding in the closet, that bit her so badly once that she had to go to the doctor, who gave her money and told her to take it to the wisemen, which she did, then "went home again". What an imagination!

Ryrie's Purple Bike

Dearest Uncle Paul bought a little pink bike for the Princess Rye. Hana and I painted it the royal color. Purple.

Applesauce 2014

Days gone by, this was. I apologize duly for not writing and posting that for so long. I had plans to, then I totally forgot... then I was busy. Work. You know? Life. Ah.... But this is life, too, and I wish to show you that. AND - I do really apologize for not getting that promised post of my car out yet. I WILL. I promise.