Pot holes and the like...

Have you ever wondered what happens when I go on night drives with my Mom?

Well, here's the scoop. Listen up!

Last night we were driving along, it being close to ten or so at night, and we were getting close to home. Normal, serious conversations had busied our heads the whole hour-and-a-half-long trip, and now Mom was explaining to me how she had all the series of pot holes on that specific street memorized. We got started on that subject by my sharp exclamation about her hitting a significantly large one. She woundedly asked me if I would have her swerving all over the road in an attempt to miss all pot holes. I asserted that that would be preferable, and she went on to tell a story of what would happen if an officer stopped us.

The lights dance around the night air, announcing a naughty driver to the neighborhood, and the siren wails noisily. Guiltily we pull off to the side, still finding an occasional giggle squeezing out of us. The officer comes to Mom's door and asks her to get out of the car... he needs to know if she can walk a straight line. All the wiggling about on the road; what else could it be but a drunk driver? She is so dizzy from swerving from side to side on the road that she totters in a zigzag manner. Officer's face is stern. He does the breath test, and - oh. No. Uhoh.... Okay... bad idea. For the past couple days Mom's throat has been extraordinarily sore. She has used an entire bottle of Throat Spray, which has an alcohol base. The breathalyzer test is... well, it basically announces to the officer that yes indeed is she drunk.

Okay.

Stop there.

Let's not go any further than that.

So then we entered a stretch of the road where there was a series of pot holes. Mom says, "I used to have all these pot holes memorized... Let's see. This one's on the... right -" She moves the car to the left side of the road, missing the pot hole - "This one's on the left -" and moves the car to the right, in like manner, "This one's to the right..." again moving to the left... "And the last one is on the right, too. There. That's all of them."

BONK.

We are jarred into silence. That was a big. Big. BIG. Pot hole.

We erupted in giggles.

Need I say more?

A Small Update

As school, work and fun make their dizzying trio around me, I take a few moments to write a blog post. I have to start out with announcing that I have all of the 65 hours required in order for me to take my driver's test. Now, my test is on the 23, at 9:00, I believe. Now I hope that I pass. I'm starting to be a little worried. I know I'm a good driver, but I also know that a lot of people have failed, and I'm afraid it's harder than I thought.






Other things.... I'm trying to find myself a laptop/notebook. I need one so I don't keep needing to use my mom's, but I am at a loss to know any difference between them all, besides their price tag! I do know that I want a smaller one to travel well. I do not want a chromebook. And it must have an SD card slot.






Also, I am continuing on college application stuff. I have been accepted to one three colleges. There are two other colleges I'm waiting to hear from. Two of them I still must send my SAT scores and my transcript, I think. I had to pay application fees. :-( Yuk.






What else is going on? Well, I have some ideas for my future, and my annoying mind likes to keep working and plan out my future, regardless of what I tell it about having just to wait and see. So if you were wondering what my mind's planning out... well, there are a lot of ideas. I know of a ranch out in OR that is the kind of ranch that I've always dreamed of starting. The only problem difference I would have done is make it a longer stay for each child. But it is pretty cool - one on one time with an adult and a child and a horse. And I would just love to go there. So maybe someday I'll volunteer there.




Other ideas I've toyed with in my head are - get a nanny job; go through AIM (Adventures In Missions); go to Colorado and go through Eric and Leslie Ludy's Discipleship training at Ellerslie; take sign language classes; volunteer at an orphanage; travel the U.S.; go visit my cousin in... well, I can't remember what country he is in. Europe?


So you see the vast wealth of ideas that I have. I can't say really if I'll do any or all of them. I'd LIKE to do all of them. xD





Does that really characterize my life at the present moment? I don't know... I think it does. I've been cramming hours of school into short periods of time... been trying to force myself to early hours (partially successfully, and partially not)... been using free moments to write letters, play piano and cello, jot blog posts, and, truth be told, I'm realizing that adult life ISN'T as fulfilling as I thought it would be. I always believed that once I grew up I would be able to prioritize and do all sorts of things I wanted, while at the same time being worthwhile... um, am I making sense? Perhaps not. Wierdly enough, I sort of drifted into adult life, complete with tons of responsibility. Instead of having eight subjects of school to complete every day, and my free time arranged around whether or not I've completed it (thus, I would feel like I had a good, worthwhile day if I did all my school, got ahead, or such, and feel like I had a bad day if I read all day, and got no school done, etc.) NOW I hardly do any school, and I am stretched between work (two days a week), school, and a bunch of 'unworthwhile' things - music, friends, fun activities, family, housework, etc. And unfortunately, if I don't watch my days carefully, I can easily waste away time!






After I complete this blog post, I mean to go straight away to do Government and English.





Here is a ToDo for this next week. Hopefully I will have completed it by next post. :p






-Research for Research Paper
-Research which laptop/notebook I should get
-Complete Fafsa
-Get information off my hard drive
-Practice cello
-Do a week of Government
-Do a week of English

Ice Skating

The other day we went ice skating with our good friends. How I enjoyed it! I took a few pictures...

Sleepy little guy. :-) So cute

There were a few tumbles. Nothing major.

To make my darling Donny feel better, I blacked out his eyes. :-( Enjoy anyway.

The sky was beautiful that morning. Now I did edit that picture, but.... :-P

Ramblings and Thoughts

What do you do when you know God is tugging at your heart... when you know He wants you to do something, when you feel so strongly that He has something amazing planned - and you find yourself doing what you feel is nothing?

I am at that point where I feel like I don't know a thing of my future. I have an inkling that God has mighty things in store, but I have no idea what. Right now I am standing here hoping, loving life, feeling excited... and yet I know so little. I have come to so many conclusions of what to do with my life, and as they all seem to be more and more uncertain, and less and less like plans, I have figured out one thing. I am an actionary person. I like to know my plan and act on it. I don't like to have uncertainties hanging about my head like a storm cloud. I like to be decisive.

But what does knowing that do for me? Because when I am decisive, I am making the plans. And even when I am making the plans, I still am left with feelings of uncertainty! Because I don't have the control to actually make the plans come true. Now on the other hand, I do want to do what God wants me to do, but I don't like the feeling of uncertainty that following God seems to bring with it. Following God entails giving up control. And though I've never had control of my life from the first breath I took, I still want to be on back-up to take over if God doesn't plan the 'best' for me.

But either way, whether I make the plans or I decide to leave it to God, I am out of control.

And so of course I decide to leave it up to God. And it ends up that I start to think something like this: "Okaaay, so I want to follow God's leading in my life. And I know He wants me to serve Him. So what are some ways I can serve Him in my life?" (Now I am thinking of my future life, that is. My future life is what is important, fun and worthwhile. Not now.)

Of course, I don't think of the boring things, like "be gentle to the children", or "behave like a Christ-like lady" or "endure difficult situations like a soldier of Christ", or "pray without ceasing" - No, I think of things like "go live as a missionary in a terrible part of the world", "move away on some sort of adventure" or, on the other hand, some not so fun adventures, like "go to college for nursing". Yet all those things, although they are really good plans and really wonderful ways of serving God, planning out those things for my life gives me no security what-so-ever at all.

Because it might not work out! My plans seem to have a habit of falling through.

So what is important? If I live my life planning to do certain things because they're good ways of serving God (not because God is leading me to do them) how will I feel if or when I am not able to do those things?

I know how I will feel.

Awful.

Unfulfilled.

Unprofitable.

Failed.

I will feel like I have failed God. That I have failed to serve Him.

And so it ends up that I get so confused about what I am going to do with my life. I worry, and I fret, and I make plans, and the plans fall through, and I dream, and I worry some more. What if my plans don't work? What if the door shuts? What if I am unable to do anything I have decided that God wants me to do? Will I be a failure? Will that mean that God didn't want me to do it? Or that I made a fatal mistake?



With all that rambling, what is my conclusion? I look over what I have written, and I see so many distracting rabbit trails dusting over the surface of a deep and serious topic. And I sit here, reflecting upon all the different hopes and dreams and plans I have, whether enjoyable or simply practical ones. And I know only one thing.

God is with me.

And who is God?

The Master-planner. The Weaver of Intricate designs. The Writer of an amazing earth-story. The Creator of each human being from every different time and place. And He is capable - no, more than capable - to weave my life story.

So what's the big deal? What does it matter whether or not I follow through with my current plans and dreams? Will it matter to me? No - because I trust that God has something wonderful planned, and I can trust that He will open the right doors for me, and close the wrong ones. And really, I have no right to worry right now about my future. I need to get ready for it! And I think that the Bible just might have some things to say on how to get ready!