Home again...

I am home.

What does that mean? What has changed? Hm. I do not know what it means, and I do not think much had changed... Only myself. I have grown older. Yet again I have grown older. It is a very weird feeling. Do you know that it has felt like a very long time that I've been away? Well it has felt so. I know I was home last only a week ago, and before that I was only gone for eighteen days... Yet in this past month I have grown much, and the time has flown. So much has been packed into this month... No, I should say in these past months, for it isn't only this past month that has felt so fast and full. Ever since that weekend in early April... Ever since then life has been full and fast. And now... No... Ah, I do not wish to think too much about it, but I will say what I am thinking quickly, then turn my mind to other things. And now, I am back at home, back and trapped... And the slowness is so different. I swallow back my distress daily, and its only the love of God and family that keeps me sane. Oh, things aren't very bad. And I'm still full of all the wonderful and beautiful memories, yet as I have tasted happy freedom, I yearn for more.

So on to other things...

My days have been full in a different way now. I feel like a full time mom again. I have mopped the floor, made breakfast, lunch and dinner, put the children to naps, pulled redbeets and picked basil and parsley, dried the herbs, pickled the redbeets, practised singing with the children, made cards, and wrote a few thank you notes... Yea... Full.

I don't know if many interesting things will come up, so I may not find too much to blog about. I do have some pictures I need to post,so I will try to do so soon.

<3

A Running Monologue of Camp

Saturday: We got here around midday. Stas, Hana, Carmen and I drove up together from uncle Paul's house. Of course we got almost lost once or twice and had to turn around, but we survived and enjoyed the trip. The food here so far has been real nice. Some good cooks around... :) We played lots of card games in our free time as everyone was still arriving. We played a very sloppy and unprofessional game of volleyball, and some other unorganized games, then after supper we sang, and Audrey led us all in quite a few new games. That was a lot of fun. They really mean to tire us out here. Around eight or so, we went to the "canteen" and had snacks, then we had some more singing and what they call a devotional (and what I call some meager, canned, babyified, watered down, very basic thoughts). After that we played more games, and then we had a girls meeting in the one bunk before brushing our teeth and dropping into bed. I am exceedingly sleepy, and cannot wait to drift off. I cannot see straight, and that's a sure sign. It is eleven forty-two. Ah, but I'm so nervous and scared and insecure. I'm afraid of being outside of my box, outside of my comfort zone. Today was good, real good. But I'm still scared. I don't really care what everyone thinks of me, but... still... I'm scared of this all... all this new stuff. And I'm homesick... Sort of homesick. Missing the old, and scared of the new. Now to sleep...

Sunday: Today was packed full. We got up very sleepily at seven thirty, and got dressed and brushed our teeth and hair before heading to breakfast, then we had Bible class, and church, and more Bible class. That was quite good, for the class had a nice amount of scripture laid out, and the sermon was okay, but it was more of a motivational pep talk than my idea of a sermon. Then was lunch (food is so good here... This meal was meatball subs. So. Good.) and swimming for the girls. Then was swimming for the guys, and sports for us. I enjoyed that. We had, basically, p.e. Step-ups, sit-ups, pushups, long jumps, line jumping and a few other things... Tiring, but real fun. :) Then was "canteen" time, in which I had two peanutbutter cups, and wrote a letter... Singing on the hill was next, then supper, and had a break, and then we watched a acapella concert that comes every year. It was real good... Next was the devotional, which was also good, about disagreeing with authority. That was held a short walk away into the woods and by a campfire. We also sang a few songs... We sing a lot here, and I love that. After that was canteen again, and then we had games in the mess hall. That was crazily fun. I won't try to describe them... It was Street, Lane and Streetlamp... So fun. The girls bible study was the only thing before we had to go to our cabins. It's eleven forty-two.
Now I'm in bed... Sleepy, oh so sleepy... I'll go to bed soon. Goodnight.

Monday: Swimming today was a lot of fun. Even tho it was cold at first, I jumped in and swam for the whole time. We played find the golf balls and a kind of basketball in the water which was called murder ball. Very fun, all that.
Conversations were good, and I enjoyed being with several different girls and talking to them... Also Hana talked with one of the teachers about Catholicism, and I enjoyed listening and joining the conversation some. The evening games were a lot of fun as well. We played Spoons and a kind of hockey with a tied up towel and some foam pool toys. When it was my turn, I won, but I got a skinned knee that now hurts quite a lot. The second time I played I lost. I was simply pushed around by the big guy who was against me. The first game we played was partner soccer, and I was teamed with a guy who seemed like a good gentleman. He was also really good at soccer and we had a good team. We had to hold hands and play together. It was fun.

Tuesday... Wednesday... Thursday... Every day was packed full of activities and bible classes and swimming and sports. There wasn't a dull moment. We played many games, and I enjoyed them all. Except for the yoga... That was kind of just not very fun. I probably would have liked it more if I hadn't had a scab on my knee that hurt so much when I kneeled.

Some very important and emotional and wonderful things happened this week, too. On Wednesday, there were two baptisms. The young man and lady baptized were ones I hadn't spent much time with, but it was a highly emotional time anyway. They were late at night, and the PCC custom is to sing after the baptism, while we file over to the new Christian and hug him or her. I can't describe the wonderful feeling of watching the new birth of a repentant and precious youth. The next morning there was another baptism, and then yet another. It was wonderful. That evening, after a night hike, a young man was baptized, and then my dear sister made the choice after much deliberation and struggling. She and another young girl were baptized around eleven forty-five that night. I will write the details later... For now, you readers have taken enough of my time. :P

Till next time... <3

Final Memories of South Carolina

It is the morning of the day that we leave. I sit here on the bed I've called mine for the past two and a half weeks, and think of the days gone by. Oh, they have just gone so fast. I cannot even remember everything, and it seems to have gone by in a whir. Everything seems jumbled together in an exciting mix of movies, hogs, work, play, swimming, games, laughter, smiles, spinning in the dark, basketball, volleyball... So much swirled together, making up the essence of this trip. Oh, laughter... Lots of laughter. I love laughing, and use every chance I get to laugh or smile. Unfortunately I have thrice choked on water and spit it across the room. Believe me, I'm not proud of that, and I don't think its funny. I am quite embarressed by that fact, and wish it never happened. For real.

All the little memories make up a good deal of what happened, and I am sorry we must come home. The memories brush across my thoughts quickly, and pass again. Cupcakes, apple crisp, cookies... In the dark, watching movies... Playing volleyball, basket ball, Catch Phrase... Watching two hogs get castrated, catching a hog, walking it over to another pen... Cooking dinner, eating it, going out to eat... Riding in old rickety minivans and falling backwards in my seat, my skirt flying up to my undergarments, because the seat is not fastened into the floor... Sleep, late nights, late dinners... Cooking okra for the first time, and feeling happy because the man of the house says no one makes it better except for his mom and Tai, his great niece... Watching the guys lift weights and wrestle, the bantering back and forth, the washing dishes late at night... Staying up so late we welcome Aunt Penny home from work on the night shift, and greeting the man of the house before he goes out to his truck (he's a trucker) at three in the morning... Gathering apples in the early morning with special people, throwing the worm-eaten and slightly imperfect apples in a bucket, nibbling any one that looks tasty, and putting the bigger ones in another bucket for Zach's mom; the bad ones for the hogs... Riding home from church in the back of a pickup truck, truly a glorious thing... Driving the truck... Playing with the sweet children... Swings... Swimming... Laughing... Laughing... Laughing...

Isn't there more to tell than that? Oh, there should be. A lot has happened, it seemed. I feel like I have learned much, and grown up much. And... Oh, it has been a good time. It has given me joy and strength to go on... Things that have happened, lessons that have been taught, Sundays, have worked their way deep into my heart... The singing... Oh, the singing...

There is much. Much to say and much to convey. But I do not have time. Today we must go to the farmer's market, get some stuff to finish the animal shelter, finish the animal shelter, wash Zach's truck, load it up, make and eat dinner, then... Nap, and leave. As Zach said last night, its gonna be a short day. Very short.

A Continued Monologue

The past week and a half has passed so quickly that I can hardly believe it is gone. The time I've been here in South Carolina is now set in stone and unchangeable... Strange thought, that.

I have been thriving here. Thus far I have not gotten a single (bad) headache. It has been hot, though, and today it got up to 99 degrees, I believe. Where did I leave off...? Well, last week Zach took Michelle, me, his nephew Kevin, and his cousin Tim fishing. Although not much was caught, (besides one keepable fish by Michelle that got eaten by the snapping turtles while we kept fishing, several small ones by the guys, and two snapping turtles by Kevin) I had so much fun. I just love fishing... I don't quite know why. Casting... Reeling... I haven't yet reeled in a fish yet, tho. Not a real one, anyway. I've only caught a tiny one before. The place we went was so nice, and I felt so utterly peaceful. I wish I could've caught something, though. That would've been very satisfying and pleasing. Later in the afternoon we went to Hardees, and brought our burgers, fries and drinks to the lake again. We sat on the back of the truck quietly and ate. It was pleasant... Quiet and pleasant.

That was Thursday. That evening we went to Bible study. Ah, the events and actions we have done are all jumbled in my mind... :P Well, many nights we have played Catch Phrase, which is such a fun game. When I played with Elena on her team, I won, and when I played with Zach on his team, I lost. We shall have to play again. And this time Zach and I will /win/.

On the fourth, which was Friday, there were many people around. I didn't realize just how many Ellerbes and Harrises there are... Still, I guess that's how it is for anyone who meets my extended family... There are so many of them. :P I was able to meet two of Zach's sisters, two more of his brothers, and several Ellerbe men and women. I do not remember them all!

One evening that weekend, we played a wonderful game of volleyball. It was totally superb. I don't think I have ever so enjoyed a volleyball game. My team won but it was a very close and good game. It was such fun. Oh, good memories. :)

Every morning I rise and go help Zach with his hogs. Not that I do anything, because I don't do much, but we gather apples from the ground under the Apple tree, and either make up slop from scraps and a tea mixture and old moldy bread (Their medicine for the day, Zach says; a good dose of penicillin. ;) or throw them weeds. There is water to be pumped as well, and carried into the pen to be dumped into the water bucket. It is so happy... it is so good. I so love it. There's nothing so fulfilling and full of good feeling as farming. Though I do not mean to make it sound perfectly wonderful... There are the times when Squeelette dumps over the fuller of the two slop buckets when Zach sets them down to throw over some weeds to the inner pen (where all the other pigs are. Squeelette is by herself cause she's kinda mean), and when overnight the wheelbarrow Zach just put two screws in lost three more, and when the pigs dump over their water immediately after it is filled up again, and... Not much work has gotten done... It can be so depressing. Yet I think it is good and I love it. The troubles in farming bring out what is actually inside a man.

Yesterday we loaded up the giant hog, Sire Zali Zaxif (and I totally don't know if I'm spelling it right) in a trailer. Zach then took Michelle, Colin and I to the butcher's where good old Sire will be butchered and made into sausage. It was the most fun thing to load up Sire. It wasn't too hard, actually. Zach backed up his truck and the trailer (and he did /such/ a wonderfully good job) to the fence gate, and threw some apples and weeds and such into the trailer, making a trail from Sire's pen to the back of the trailer. We all stood with pallets blocking any escape ways, and he opened up Sire's pen. Sire went kinda slowly, but as soon as he was fully inside, Zach slammed the door shut! And we were on our way. Zach backed his truck and trailer at the butchering place up to the shute perfectly and Sire was led to his new pen.

Today Aunt Penny took Nathan, the twins, Michelle and me to the swimming pool. I've never been to a public swimming pool before, and that was really nice. It was so fun being able to go so deep! I went into the 12' section just to make a memory, but it was kinda terrible... :/ I choked and breathed water. I was... terrified, if I would've thought about it, that is. I wasn't gonna drown, and I was /able/ to swim for that distance without touching the bottom - I've done farther distances without touching the bottom or the sides... But it's just different. I'm not sure how. Maybe its just knowing that there's no ground within reach below you... I don't really want to go back again. :P To the twelve foot section, I mean. The five foot section came up to my chin when I was on my tippiest toes and bouncing upwards on my toes. The twins picked me up and dunked me quite a lot, and that was fun. :) We also all carried eachother across the pool several times. We swam for several hours, and had pizza... That was a memory! And on the way home we had McDonald's ice cream cones and argued with the twins about being gentlemanly and not hitting girls.

Ah... So many memories... So much good. :)

I hope you enjoy my stories...

Random Photos at Grandmama's

More Travels....

There is something very special about being alive... Something so very special. Life recently has grabbed ahold of me and spun me around with the beauty of just being alive! I lay under the stars, friends all around me, just flat on my back, just laying spread eagle... Simple meals eaten with my grandmother, who now is so sick... Sunburn in the garden with my lovely cousin... Fancy and wonderful-tasting supper with that same cousin and her wonderful husband... Music playing loudly in earbuds, just once, even tho its so bad for ears... Cuddling little children, who smile so big and laugh so long... Swinging, swinging, swinging... Oh I'm so happy! Driving in the rain... Driving with friends in terrible rainstorms... Jumping over a hitching rail for horses and buggies... Beautiful bridges woven through and over highways, not unlike the shoelaces on a child's shoe... Big smiles on beloved faces... Seeing sad faces break into joy... Sharing candy with crying little ones... Warm, warm weather, creating a lazy feeling in the whole of me... Rumble strips on the way around the mountain to my uncle's... Beautiful, beautiful photographs taken by such talented people... Good, good cousins... Cookie dough, enjoyed by all the children and myself before they're baked... A special straw hat... Late night trips in which we raise one voice in song, both from the hymn book and from the radio... Being up so, so, so late and not getting any rest at all during the trip... Oh, its all so special and so much fun... I'm so happy... Picnics where we eat good food together, and smile, and hug, and laugh, and swing... Four wheeler rides through the mountain, fast, on an Uncle's four wheeler... Fishing, peacefully, calmly, happily... Sitting cramped in the backseat of the truck where music is playing loudly and everyone is peaceful and part quiet, right now that is... Late night conversations with different folk over the internet... Sitting with sisters, and holding hands... Laughing and laughing and laughing, deep and long laughs, until our stomaches ache so badly we can barely smile more... Laughing and laughing and laughing some more... Because its so good for recovery and healing.

Saturday was a good day. Despite some family difficulties, we went to a church picnic, and had good fun... We sang, we ate, we swung... All things that are so good to do together with others. That evening, late, I did what I never imagined I'd be allowed to do. I began one of the most free trips in my life. Schel and I traveled down along with Zach to South Carolina. The ride down was the absolute best that I've ever had in my life. I stayed up the whole trip, from about eleven pm to seven am. It was so special and fun and everything I imagined. Oh, actually, I didn't imagine how squished and uncomfortable it would be, but that was ok, and we didn't mind it so much. For three hours we drove, singing and talking and Schel resting quietly in the back, then we picked up Zach's niece and nephew in Virginia. With them in the car, we sang some more, and laughed, and talked, and were just silent together. It was a very good ride. I felt very tired around three and four, but as soon as it began go get light out, I didn't feel tired again until we neared the last hour of the trip. When we arrived, I slept for an hour and a half, then we went to church. As this was the fifth Sunday, the church down here has two services. Their regular one at ten, at which I successfully stayed awake through and was able to listen to the sermon, but the second one, which was held at another church building with another church, I had the hardest time keeping my eyes open during the sermon. It was a good sermon... Only, even if I would keep my eyes open, I would suddenly find that they were closed, and I would find that I couldn't even listen to the sermon. My mind was totally blank. No daydreaming, no nothing. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. Between the two services, I and my sister went out with one of our friend families to a Chinese restaurant. That was very nice and special. That evening we stayed up rather late, and played a game together.

Monday, my friend and I took a walk, we went to the stores where two other friends worked (Zach tormenting them mercilessly, of course), and Schel, Elena, Aunt Rhonda and I went to Walmart in the late evening. Now that was fun; we played in the toy section, and bounced those really bouncy balls as high as we could, in the meantime hitting a girl with one ball and bouncing several over the top of the aisle. We also went to a fast food place and sat inside and ate. Some officers were at our one side, and a group of couples were at the other. We, between the two, prayed, laughed and ate together. Aunt Rhonda is so fun to be with. After we got home, we played several rounds of a game, then went on to bed. It was close to two o'clock when I crashed.

So that's the accounting of my past two days. I will continue to update periodically.

A Week of Contented Busyness

The past week was spent in a calm sort of way at my grandmother's home. I did not do much more than work some in the garden, sweep the floor once, and read, so it was almost somewhat of a vacation. I took a walk in the woods and gathered a few things...